Expat, Short for Expatriate

Christmas surprise for Katie and Kimber, Christmas 2012.
It's easy and inexpensive to fly from Doha to Dubai.

 

Expat, short for Expatriate: someone who lives in a country not his own.

 

Katie 2011

 

Kimber 2012

 

Bob and Cindi and the Peace and Love Guy, 2013

 

Chris 2014

 

displaced, exiled, deportee

 

banished, outcast, refugee

 

roamer, rover, Gypsy:

 

me

 

Christmas 2014

 

Merry Christmas from near and far...

Home Team

come on in

 

Home might be Egypt, Brazil, France, Doha, Johannesburg, Reykjavik, Kansas City, Missouri. A farm, shack, mansion, apartment, townhome or raised ranch suburban house. It could be a field, rink, soccer or baseball stadium, thobe, abaya, jeans, tennis shoes, heels, flip flops, cleats.

 

next big event on deck

 

The where and who is as different as the people who seek it, but there are a few things your home and mine have in common:

 

Home is the person you can't wait to tell when you pass that big exam. It's the arms you crawl into when bad stuff happens. It's the people who love you through the silent-but-deadlies and other aromatic facts of life and stick by you when you're stupid, selfish, rude, dumb, fat, skinny. The ones who see beyond the sweat, wrinkles and belly wobble to claim your wide smile and rosy cheeks. Those with whom you can eat so many garlic crackers that your skin stinks (Kay?) and celebrate engagements, weddings and new babies. Home is your partner for all night pool tournaments, marathon tv sessions and long, meandering walks. It's who you turn to when the plumbing goes out and you and the kids need a place to stay.

 

serving up comfort at 3am

 

Home is the people who occupy the space where you're most comfortable, especially when you're far, far away from, well…home.

 

not seen in Doha: green and rain

 

In Doha, home is a beautiful (ma sha allah!) 9 month pregnant woman who rises at 1am every day for seven days to serve a multi course breakfast to a crazy bunch of baseball lovers. It's a guy who shows up every morning to eat that breakfast. In his socks.

 

 

 

It's lap-sharing memory-making with three beautiful babes. Watching a video about sharks snuggled up close. Middle of the night smiles.

 

these faces

 

movie star smiles at 3am

 

say it with me: "awwww"

 

It's Turkey Central dinners, surprise birthday luncheons, baby showers, football get togethers, souq shopping, sand golf. It's BMD wives' club, church, Fudd's Thursday, mani pedis.

 

at Turkey Central, 2014

 

And, yes, it's the World Series at 3am - home team playing at home - losing with two outs, bottom of the ninth, tying run on third base. It's the disappointed silence from a packed stadium - as fans buy 2015 season tickets on smart phones before the final score is even posted. (Anybody got tickets to share?)

 

Because we may be way the heck outta Dodge (euphemistically speaking; "Dodge" is Kansas; we are Missouri) but hey Royals! you're our team. And pssh. Doggonit, we love you.

 

photo credit: Matt Mikus, http://postcardsandplaylists.com/

 

Great Season, Royals!

Hello Again, Doha

Treasure Trove of Yummies

(but the real treasure is the note)

 

Long flight, a row to myself. Stretched out, movies, dinner, midnight meal, breakfast, snack, great book, tv shows, more movies, sleep.

 

sunset over water

 

Evening arrival, shwarma, a toast…

 

 

Bob and Cindi, together again.

 

awwww

 

Expat Wife Life: Missing Who's Missing

summer 2014: laughter, love,

a house full of beautiful babies

 

To expats, missing is a living, breathing, moist and fresh word with long, sticky fingers. It links head to heart, toddling the gray matter so the heart is always thinking. Before each trip, whether traveling to or fro, we haul missing out, rub it off and try not to watch as the object of missing's affections changes.

No matter where we are, expats are always missing someone. 

Summer 2014 it's been this guy:

 

Bob at the Singing Dunes

 

It helps to look forward to the next adventure. For example, also missing is the singing dunes, souk, the folks at Fanar, Arabic. West Bank vistas from Islamic Museum Park, a jog around the Corniche, the-latest-unique-thing-on-display at the Alriwaq exhibit hall, shopping; the adventure that is driving in Doha.

 

Missing is the Call to Prayer that circles the city five times a day, a reminder via regularly spaced mosques to pause in the day's busy-ness to recognize, thank and praise God. Each invitation begins at a slightly different moment - the result is a rich mix of spiritually uplifting dissonance that fills one's senses like just baked bread.

 

minaret, Grand Mosque

West Bay in background

 

I like it.

 

I miss monthly get-togethers with the fabulous Burns & McDonnell ladies and babies, dark early morning skies and the bright upside down moon. Beach sun (although I no longer bask), steamy sand, long sleeved slogs around the Pearl's bay in 115F temps followed by a dip in the resort pool. A clean apartment every Thursday, Fridays with my guy, camp outs at the Inland Sea, treks into the desert.

 

In Doha, celebrity events are comparatively inexpensive (and free). World class tennis, soccer, film and art festivals are accessible. Comedian Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias, Yusuf Islam (aka Cat Stevens), and Maz Jobrani have headlined Doha in the last 3 years. There's Mr. Q, Arabic class, the fabulous people at Weill Cornell Medical Center, halloumi cheese at Zaatar w Zeit, family dinner at Turkey Central, Nabil and the Sheikh's museum.

 

 

Dubai's beaches, golf courses, and sites like the Burj Khalifa are an inexpensive 45 minute flight away. It's a quick hop to weekend (or longer) adventures in Muscat, London, Athens, Barcelona, Dublin, Rome, Amsterdam too.

 

Just as life in Doha isn't all sand, grit and empty-shelves-at-the-Carrefour, a stint stateside isn't all perfection. There are weeds, bugs, dirty laundry, trash to take out, cars and dryers that break down, a crowd of babies in the bathroom, high gas prices, a towering, government owned, dead tree in the yard next door.

 

None of which eases this next - rapidly approaching - round of missing.

 

Kansas City Northern Railroad Co.
riding a kid-sized train with three of my babies

I'll be missing them soon

East to Midwest Across America

An American journalist is decapitated in Syria, Israel and Palestine bomb one another and racial tension explodes into gunfire in Ferguson, Missouri. Women aren't allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia and prejudice is a way of life in Qatar.

 

But when smoke bursts from Katie's car outside the Walgreens in Greenville, North Carolina, the world's problems seem very far away.

 

all her worldly possessions trunk to lid

the most important are two thin sheets of paper that say:

"Master's Degree" and "Registered Dietitian"

(car for sale soon)

 

Something pops and thick brown fluid gushes onto the tarry road. Before we're free of the steaming vehicle, a woman in a black Ford Explorer headed the opposite direction stops. She leaves her own car in the street as I raise Katie's hood. "Yo' radiatah is done, see raht thayah?" She removes the cigarette dangling between her teeth, and uses it to point. "Ya'll goan in the Auto Zone and see they kin hep."

 

In the Auto Zone, employees with names embroidered into red collared shirts leap into action. Sherwood* proclaims a broken heater hose the culprit as he single handedly pushes Katie's car out of traffic. Sue* calls auto repair shops. The one her sister works at is busy but we "ought to call over to Elronda at the Meineke."

 

No fewer than seven cars and trucks stop as we wait for AAA on a curb near a field. "Ya'll need help? What's the trouble? Ah noticed you, thought ah'd see you're okay."

 

waiting for AAA in bucolic North Carolina

 

In America's east, country towns and metropolitan cities are linked by tree covered mountains, glorious azure skies and acres of rolling, green fields. There are good friends…

 

three years together ends

a lifetime of friendship ahead

 

…Washington, DC with its waterfront, monuments and a beautiful woman who offers weary friends elegant hospitality and soft, pillowed beds.

 

with wonderful Mary Ann

lifetime of friendship continues

 

There is Angel Gap, North Carolina with log cabin shops under pines so tall that clouds drift in and out of branches. Populations come in both black and white in nearly equal proportions, say "dang, ya'all" and "ah" instead of "I." There are slow moving tractors, freeways, country roads…

 

 

…villages named for the scenery and businesses christened for people: Shady Spring, Skitter Creek, Laura's Restaurant, Peter's Orchard and Fruit Stand. There is summer rain, country music, the Seneca Nation and a 20-ish foot tall, thousand pound Indian Statue.

 

The Post Journal, Jamestown, NY

 

Fog skitters across dewy highways and the air smells of intermittent rain, sunshine and hay. Road signs announce "Beef and Ice Cream," "When You Die You Will Meet God," "Buckle Up - Next Million Miles." Tiny towns seem to have more churches than people; cows, goats and chickens frolic in front yards.

 

So. Much. Green.

 

every picture I take looks like this

 

and this

 

Everywhere, all across the country, billboards feature Starbucks, Walmart, Taco Bell, McDonald's, Burger King and Cracker Barrel's pinto beans and corn bread.

 

The mountains of North Carolina and the Virginias ease into Kentucky, where horses graze in fields crisscrossed by rail fences; settle into the tree lined hills of Illinois and Missouri - until finally the world flattens and becomes Kansas.

 

not Kansas

 

But first Katie's car would need a new radiator, thermostat, battery and Sherwood's hoses.

 

As the good natured folks at Meineke's manage Katie's car repair (lifetime warranty!), we wander streets without side or crosswalks, eat lunch at a gas station and tour a Sam's Club.

 

Later, a mother and her four children join us in the Meineke waiting area. "Kin ah have a quarter?" says Little Boy, palm raised.

 

"It's mah birthday next week," says Little Girl. "Ah'll be seven." She faces me, but nods at Katie. "Ah you her mommy?"

 

I'm her mommy

 

It may or may not be true that Americans are fast food fat and geographically illiterate. Perhaps our high school graduates can't pick out Azerbaijan on a map, outline the history of Syria or do simple math - and, in contrast to Qatar's children, most of us *only* speak one language. We have social, economic and employment issues like every other country across the globe.

 

But where pines march up mountains into blue skies and everyday folks sip coffee while waiting for buses on grassy streets; here, deep at its heart - I think America is pretty dang great.

 

As her mother and four older brothers watch, Little Girl opens her arms wide and wraps us up. First she hugs Katie, then me.

 

 

*true story, real names

Three Years, 300 Words

We're in Ireland this week!

atop Trim Castle, Ireland

This vacay day, I offer a summary of the last three blog years with links to 5 essays per year:

2011

Initial blogs outline Bob's experiences setting up housekeeping, adjusting to a 6-day work week, searching for the Catholic Church. There's info about Eid al-Adha, a photo tour of the Pearl, and an explanation about how to obtain a license to drink in Doha.

Katie and Kimber

Katie, Kimber and I make our first trip across the world and Bob earns his temporary driver's license after a three month effort.

2012

After seven trips over land and sea I am an official expat spouse. No more airport lines; Qatar Airways' Silver Status travelers board at will. (Today, ahem, I am a Gold member.)

Learn about Sheikha Moza Bint Nasser's job site chicken coop in The Sheikha and the Chickens. Update: the chicken coop and garden, a nod to the Koranic garden, a green space that includes plants from the Koran - was unceremoniously removed in 2013.

Watch a video (with translation) of the Call to Prayer and see a giraffe giving birth. Sit with me as Qatari college students share a favorite gulf tradition with elementary school aged girls, and participate in the gymnastics event that is the Qatari greeting.

2013

washing windows at Zig Zag Towers

Discover How to Get a Speeding Ticket, live Five Moments in Doha and get to know Qatar's Money. Finally, Dear Expat, About Your Cleavage is an open letter to the sparsely dressed Doha expat.

2014

We hang with our awesome expat family in a finicky climate. I attend a Qatari Wedding and a Qatari Women's Association event with Kimber and Kitty, Bob's mom. Our beautiful son, Chris stops by.

And the adventure continues!

My Life in America: Looking at People

 

"Traffic is really backed up this morning adding 5 minutes to your drive."

-Radio station KFKF on morning rush hour traffic in Kansas City, Missouri, USA

 

The Walmart cashier smiled. "What's your favorite thing about being home?" he said.

 

I considered: the open road - where four cars at a stop light is a traffic jam and a five minute delay is an inconvenience…that I can trek to Walmart and home again in under 15 minutes…blue skies…clouds…rain…green…cars that merge, drivers who don't block intersections…worms in black earth under a mountain of wild daylilies…jogging in the street wearing shorts…different nationalities, races, religions, ideological outlooks living, working, existing side by side in (relative) harmony…

 

these beautiful people:

 

 

and that - in my little corner of the world, at least- we look at each other.

 

Gape, gaze, goggle, peep, scrutinize, wonder, glance. We consider one another by appearance, body type and posture. We evaluate strangers based on dress and assess people using external information: he's a businessman in a suit, she's a mom in sweats, there's a sullen teenager hunkered over her phone and that harried homemaker wearing dirty shorts and scrubby tank ran out of mulch while working in the garden.

 

We regard, weigh, contemplate, examine and review. Is his hair color natural? Cute dress. Bratty kid. Muffin top. Sweet couple.

 

daylilies

 

Tall, short, fat, thin, rich, poor? There's sinful judgment in shallow appraisal: he's a hard worker, slacker, health freak. She's alcoholic, overeater, underachiever, mogul, homeless, confident, shy, chic, uncouth. Lookit those Baptists with crosses and Catholics dangling rearview mirror prayer beads. There are Muslims in hijab, Amish in long skirt with tennis shoes and whatever religion wears those little white caps over long, gray beards…

 

Some cultures go to great lengths to discourage looking as it can harvest misconceptions, inaccuracies and wrong impressions.

 

not looking in Doha

 

When nourished with a smile and a greeting, however, looking breeds connection.

 

What are you planting? Where do you work? What kind of phone do you have? Where do you get your hair done? Do you eat here often? How old are your kids? Ever been to a Royals game?

 

In Missouri we smile and say "hello" to joggers on the street. We wave at neighbors out of windows accessible to sidewalks dotted with people. We chat with strangers at Quik Trip, exchange business cards with folks we don't know, say "Pretty Day, don'cha think?" and "How about those Chiefs!" and "Do you know where the laundry soap is?"

 

university prof talks to strangers

 

Sure, life's not perfect, not even in America's heartland. There's crime. Inflation, unemployment, divorce, haves and have nots, Obamacare. But there's comfort in a community that connects with a glance and a grin.

 

I see you

 

The cashier smiled. "Nice to meet you, have a nice day," he said.

 

I shifted the bag of mulch over my scrubby tank and dirty shorts, stepped into the blue sky day and admired the clouds.

 

purty

Twelve Days in Doha: Adventure and Hot

silver and gold hangin' out in Doha

 

It's been a particularly warm May week in Doha with unseasonable temps exceeding 115F. Air like this translates to sweat drenched tee shirts, soggy undies, fogged glasses, beaded skin and high ponytails over rash prickled necks - before 9am.

 

West Bay skyline at night from our pool deck - not in the sun in Doha

 

Hot like this means a bright, yellow fireball halfway to the sky by 4am, burning sand, blazing sun, indoor activities and afternoon naps. Still, creative, dedicated gadabouts may find one or two interesting ways to entertain themselves. Like for example:

 

father/daughter shopping time

 

Wander shaded souk alleyways, bargain with shopkeepers and dig into stacks of plastic wrapped Pashminas as the bracelet maker melts colored blocks of wax; tour the gold/fabric/spice souks for jewelry, baskets, pans, dishes, tea and coffee sets, candy, jelabia, abaya, keffiya (deep breath) and more…

 

bargaining with the basket guy

 

Chat with camels beside a forever-under-renovation downtown fort, below a never ending line of sky infesting construction cranes, near a job site office full of interesting people from all over the world, especially Missouri…

 

some of the best buncha people ever
(missing Ben, Aaron, Tom-on vacay and Ed-who'd stepped away)

 

Eat, drink, cook, eat, read, wash dishes, eat, do laundry, eat, eat, eat.

 

"family room" at the shwarma place

 

Visit museums like the one dedicated to Mshiereb's Heart of Doha downtown renovation project (ie, our reason for being here), located on a barge docked along a tree and flower lined Corniche; view videos, pearl diving memorabilia and historical photos and a model of the gargantuan endeavor…

 

one of three fabulous works of art, created by Bob and Cindi

(genetics underwritten by Charlie and Peggy and Dan and Kitty)

 

Tour IM Pei's famous Museum of Islamic Art (MIA) to see cool stuff from the Middle East and beyond…

 

Kings and Pawns: Board Games from India to Spain

now at Doha's Museum of Islamic Art

 

See Sheikh Faisal Bin Qassim Al Thani's popular private collection of historic Qatari memorabilia and eclectic wonderment (click here to read more about the museum), including cars, planes, boats, tapestries, carpets, tents, a real well, swords, knives, photographs, paintings, doors, walls, Catholic vestments, a full sized confessional booth; and where an artist will ink your name in Arabic calligraphy for 10QR (about $2.50USD).

 

Mohammed animates Kimberly's name

 

The pyramid shaped Sheraton hotel is closed for remodeling but there are still skylines, Doha Bay dhows, Palm Tree Island, the Singing Dunes. There's beach day at 8:00am, sun kissed skin, salty seas, crossword puzzles. Katara's amphitheater, private art galleries, cart riding and cupcake eating in a cupcake shaped chair wearing let's-do-tea hats and skirts.

 

I like her

 

Indoor and outdoor pools, mani/pedis, Ferrari and Lamborghini; the Pearl, camel race track laps inside an air conditioned SUV, Our Lady of the Rosary Church outdoor grotto, stray cats, waterfalls, candles, prayer and wudu spaces, selfies.

 

in a bathroom at Sheikh Faisal's place

 

Tea in a Qatari home with sisters, cousins, nieces, new friends and Yemeni neighbors. Zubarah fort, sweaty desert treks, an archaeological site, artifact exhibit, sand and rock vistas, ancient walls, watch towers.

 

watch tower is coated with a light layer of concrete
as protection from sand and wind

 

Fanar, Shaheen's, Starbucks Frappuccino's, shwarma, tabbouleh, hummus, jasmine tea, Arabic coffee, food sharing at Turkey Central, lunch in a window-less backroom, waiting on Bob.

 

architectural demonstration: laying down the law, negotiation

 

Lessons in Islamic prayer and fasting during Ramadan in a Qatari home majlis surrounded by Qatari ladies and women from all over the world. Abayas, sheylas and the Ibn Abdul Wahhab Masjid - Doha's Grand Mosque.

 

inside the Ibn Abdul Wahhab Masjid, Doha's Grand Mosque

 

Because, after all, psshhhh, really, c'mon: what's a bit of blazing sky, sauna air, shimmering horizon and searing, scalding, burning sun when there's adventure to be lived?

"…Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance: I hope you dance…"

- from "I Hope You Dance" written by Mark D. Sanders and Tia Sillers

popularly performed by Lee Ann Womack