Friday, October 24, 2014

Ballad of the Men in White

photo credit: this pic brazenly borrowed from the web
will be deleted if the blog ever goes public again
 
The rags to riches story is a tale as old as, well - sand. There's Oliver Twist; JK Rowling; con man Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) in the 1983 movie Trading Places; Dubai; Qatar (click to read brief history and answers to commonly asked questions); Jed Clampett.
 
American actor, Buddy Ebsen, as Jed Clampett
photo credit: photo bucket, edtombell
 
As the patriarch of the popular American 1960s era tv show, The Beverly Hillbillies, Jed Clampett discovers oil on his rustic (ie, poverty stricken) mountain property. Together with Granny (Irene Ryan), Max Baer, Jr. and sweet, buxom Donna Douglas, Jed lits out for "Beverly Hills, Californee" where the family's lifestyle is dramatically altered by Jed's "crude" discovery. They now live in a spacious mansion with swimming pool and photogenic stairway instead of a one room log cabin. They hang with movie stars and shop for thousand dollar (USD) huntin' togs.
 
If you're unfamiliar with the show and its catchy 40 second musical introduction, grab a listen here: The Ballad of Jed Clampett.
 
Then read my loose lyrical rewrite, below.
 
Dhow festival 2012
local poses for photo wearing
traditional pearl diver attire, sort of
 
The Ballad of the Men in White
 
Come and listen to my story
'bout the men in white.
Once pearl divers sleeping
on the sand at night.
 
Then one day
as they were camping on a dune,
up come the Brits
with startling news.

About oil…
Black gold…
Texas tea…
 
First thing you know
these men are billionaires.
Slipping starchy scarves
over beards and hair.
 
Emir said,
"Our desert's the place to be!
For soccer, building, fun and
fast food KFC."

World Cup, ya'all…
Stadiums…
New downtown…
 
Today instead of dhow boats
there are high-rises and schools.
Foreigners from everywhere
breaking Muslim rules.
 
Clogging streets and malls
with their rude proclivities;
like eating pork, sipping scotch,
baring arms and knees.

Skin…
All colors…
Haraam…
 
Men in white aren't divers now.
They're wealthy businessmen.
Driving fast in SUV's,
hanging out with friends.
 
These multi lingual Western grads
watch American tv,
party on the dunes at night,
eat fast food KFC.

Rolex…
BMW…
Land Cruiser…
 
it says: Dajaaj Kentaacky, drive thru
The Colonel flies high over C-Ring Road
Doha 2014
 
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