Friday, October 31, 2014

Home Team

come on in
 
Home might be Egypt, Brazil, France, Doha, Johannesburg, Reykjavik, Kansas City, Missouri. A farm, shack, mansion, apartment, townhome or raised ranch suburban house. It could be a field, rink, soccer or baseball stadium, thobe, abaya, jeans, tennis shoes, heels, flip flops, cleats.
 
next big event on deck
 
The where and who is as different as the people who seek it, but there are a few things your home and mine have in common:
 
Home is the person you can't wait to tell when you pass that big exam. It's the arms you crawl into when bad stuff happens. It's the people who love you through the silent-but-deadlies and other aromatic facts of life and stick by you when you're stupid, selfish, rude, dumb, fat, skinny. The ones who see beyond the sweat, wrinkles and belly wobble to claim your wide smile and rosy cheeks. Those with whom you can eat so many garlic crackers that your skin stinks (Kay?) and celebrate engagements, weddings and new babies. Home is your partner for all night pool tournaments, marathon tv sessions and long, meandering walks. It's who you turn to when the plumbing goes out and you and the kids need a place to stay.
 
serving up comfort at 3am
 
Home is the people who occupy the space where you're most comfortable, especially when you're far, far away from, well…home.
 
not seen in Doha: green and rain
 
In Doha, home is a beautiful (ma sha allah!) 9 month pregnant woman who rises at 1am every day for seven days to serve a multi course breakfast to a crazy bunch of baseball lovers. It's a guy who shows up every morning to eat that breakfast. In his socks.
 
 
 
It's lap-sharing memory-making with three beautiful babes. Watching a video about sharks snuggled up close. Middle of the night smiles.
 
these faces
 
movie star smiles at 3am
 
say it with me: "awwww"
 
It's Turkey Central dinners, surprise birthday luncheons, baby showers, football get togethers, souq shopping, sand golf. It's BMD wives' club, church, Fudd's Thursday, mani pedis.
 
at Turkey Central, 2014
 
And, yes, it's the World Series at 3am - home team playing at home - losing with two outs, bottom of the ninth, tying run on third base. It's the disappointed silence from a packed stadium - as fans buy 2015 season tickets on smart phones before the final score is even posted. (Anybody got tickets to share?)
 
Because we may be way the heck outta Dodge (euphemistically speaking; "Dodge" is Kansas; we are Missouri) but hey Royals! you're our team. And pssh. Doggonit, we love you.
 
photo credit: Matt Mikus, http://postcardsandplaylists.com/
 
Great Season, Royals!

Friday, October 24, 2014

Ballad of the Men in White

photo credit: this pic brazenly borrowed from the web
will be deleted if the blog ever goes public again
 
The rags to riches story is a tale as old as, well - sand. There's Oliver Twist; JK Rowling; con man Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) in the 1983 movie Trading Places; Dubai; Qatar (click to read brief history and answers to commonly asked questions); Jed Clampett.
 
American actor, Buddy Ebsen, as Jed Clampett
photo credit: photo bucket, edtombell
 
As the patriarch of the popular American 1960s era tv show, The Beverly Hillbillies, Jed Clampett discovers oil on his rustic (ie, poverty stricken) mountain property. Together with Granny (Irene Ryan), Max Baer, Jr. and sweet, buxom Donna Douglas, Jed lits out for "Beverly Hills, Californee" where the family's lifestyle is dramatically altered by Jed's "crude" discovery. They now live in a spacious mansion with swimming pool and photogenic stairway instead of a one room log cabin. They hang with movie stars and shop for thousand dollar (USD) huntin' togs.
 
If you're unfamiliar with the show and its catchy 40 second musical introduction, grab a listen here: The Ballad of Jed Clampett.
 
Then read my loose lyrical rewrite, below.
 
Dhow festival 2012
local poses for photo wearing
traditional pearl diver attire, sort of
 
The Ballad of the Men in White
 
Come and listen to my story
'bout the men in white.
Once pearl divers sleeping
on the sand at night.
 
Then one day
as they were camping on a dune,
up come the Brits
with startling news.

About oil…
Black gold…
Texas tea…
 
First thing you know
these men are billionaires.
Slipping starchy scarves
over beards and hair.
 
Emir said,
"Our desert's the place to be!
For soccer, building, fun and
fast food KFC."

World Cup, ya'all…
Stadiums…
New downtown…
 
Today instead of dhow boats
there are high-rises and schools.
Foreigners from everywhere
breaking Muslim rules.
 
Clogging streets and malls
with their rude proclivities;
like eating pork, sipping scotch,
baring arms and knees.

Skin…
All colors…
Haraam…
 
Men in white aren't divers now.
They're wealthy businessmen.
Driving fast in SUV's,
hanging out with friends.
 
These multi lingual Western grads
watch American tv,
party on the dunes at night,
eat fast food KFC.

Rolex…
BMW…
Land Cruiser…
 
it says: Dajaaj Kentaacky, drive thru
The Colonel flies high over C-Ring Road
Doha 2014
 
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