Salaam! (When Qataris Say Hello)

… a man asked the prophet (S.A.W.), "what in Islam is the best?" He (S.A.W.) answered, "To feed people and to say salaam to everyone whether you know them or not."

(http://www.islam1.org/khutub/Islamic_Greeting.htm)

 

Traditional Qatari men greet one another by lightly touching noses twice.

 

Young Qataris say hello to a parent or older relative by kissing the elder's forehead.

 

Everyone (within the same gender) shakes hands.

 

But when Qatari women greet one another, there is grasping, kissing, bouncing, shaking, touching, nodding, smiling and talking.  Lots of talking!

 

It's a gymnastics event performed inside a tornado of words. Here's how it works.

 

While talking ("Sister!  I've missed you! I'm happy to see you! Welcome!"), move toward her.  Grasp her hand.  Pull her close. Bounce right cheek against her right cheek 2-4 times while performing air kiss, smiling and responding appropriately to a series of traditional verbal greetings:

 

Peace be with you

And with you, peace

God welcomes you

And you God welcomes!

What's your news?

Great good news! And you, what's your news?

Great good news! And again your news?

Praise to God! And again how are you?

Fine! I hope you are well?

I'm great! I hope you are well?

 

There are so many potential ways to continue the greeting (transforming gradually into regular conversation) that there's a formal way to end too:

 

Pardon me, sister I'm in a rush

 

To which the other replies:

 

I leave you in God's protection

 

And then:

 

May God keep you in good health

 

Move away from her, stepping slowly backwards, remembering to smile and continue talking.  The greeting isn't over until:

 

May God protect you.

 

There are plenty of other things to know about greeting Qataris (and other Arab nationals).  Formal stuff like 

• smaller group greets the larger group
• younger person greets the older person
• person walking or riding greets the sitting person
• people on your right are greeted first

And if you enter a room where people are eating, don't disturb the meal by greeting people individually.  Instead say "Peace be to God" loudly (so as to interrupt everyone equally, perhaps).

 

Then there's stuff to know like, when asked, "how are you?" one should respond, "Praise God, I'm great."  Even if you're not.  Because it's better to be thankful for the good than spread the distress of the bad. Or if he/she places a palm to her chest, it means she doesn't want to shake hands. And most importantly, whether in food, hospitality or a simple hello, it's important to give more:

 

"When a courteous greeting is offered to you, meet it with a greeting still more courteous..."

(http://www.islam1.org/khutub/Islamic_Greeting.htm)

 

This seems like a lot to learn, say and do when you come from a country where the traditional greeting is (exclamation optional):

Hi!

 

And the response:

 

Hi!

 

This short standard may be easy to remember and perform. But the Qatari greeting is just…so much more fun.

group of ladies walking at The Pearl

What Thanksgiving Looks Like From Here

On the 8th day, after a nice rest…and to reward the Expat Traveller…God created Skype.

 

In KC:
 

 

 

In Buffalo:

 

In Doha:

 

Oh sure, Skype is bits and bytes.  Frozen images, lost words, broken connections.  Skype is not: turkey smell, two-arm belly hugs, pumpkin pie tasting, backyard soccer, babies tossed into piles of leaves.  Skype doesn't offer up the togetherness that prompts deep conversation - like sitting at table beside a loved one you haven't seen in a while, sipping, supping…touching fingers, minds and hearts.

 

Skype can't fix a 9 hour time difference that means it's 11pm, three movies and two (and a half) bottles of wine late in Doha before the main event begins in KC. 

 

Skype won't let you reach through the computer screen and wrap arms around beloved, adored, miss-them-so-much-can't-talk-about-it:

 

Huggy, Squeezy, Melts-in-your-lap; Best Valentine's Present Ever

 

Fun, Funny, Fabulous; Best Birthday Present Ever

 

my mom is adorable

 

It's true that Skype isn't the most perfect of God's great inventions.  It's not even the "next best thing."  But when you’re here and they're there and the miles are long and far and deep…and you consider that it wasn't that long ago that there was No Such Thing as phone, computer, internet…and families had to rely on (gasp!) MAIL that took weeks to arrive, if it arrived at all…Skype's pretty darn awesome.

 

Killian IMs while skyping with Pop: note fingers at "home"

 

In Doha, Thanksgiving Day meant laundry, Arabic study, battles with housekeeping for Cindi; ten hour work day for Bob.  Frozen something that looked good in French and Greek that turned out to be mushy eggplant casserole.  MI2, MI4, wine…and waiting to Skype.

 

The next day we head to the Fabulous John and Jeanne Irvin's villa for turkey, rolls, corn, pie, beer, music, friends.  Can't wait!

 

Later, at our apartment, we'll huddle around our laptops and tap-tap-tap, warming fingers as if in front of a fireplace on a snowy day.  Because when you're far, far from the people you love most, and if you're very, very lucky - this is the what the best part of every holiday looks like:

 

 

miss these precious darlings
so
so
so
so
much